But another problem occurs in our relationships, which is that communication is sometimes not understood by one of the parties, or in the worst case by both parties.
One might assume that when dialogue exists, communication is guaranteed, but that is not always true. An example of this is communication on the internet, which has its own language among its users. Communication is constantly being reinvented and new forms of expression are adopted. With emoticons, even feelings became easier to express in our written communications.
But is adapting to new forms of expression the only thing we need to do to communicate effectively? Are there not other pitfalls we can fall into when using communication?
Of course, knowing the language alone is not enough, because depending on the medium used, the form of expression will be different and may not be as rich as the traditional face-to-face conversation. A classic example of this is the coldness of email communication. We forget that this medium is increasingly direct and impersonal, which often leads to incorrect perception by whoever reads the message. Since emails lack facial expressions or tone of voice, many messages leave room for misinterpretation, and the sender needs to be mindful of these possible readings by the recipient before hitting send. Using emoticons or smiley faces ;o) represented by characters helps with context, but it is not always possible to use them in more formal emails. The best approach is to use words correctly so they are not misunderstood.
The key takeaway from all of this is understanding that communication is not what I say or write, but what is understood by whoever receives my information. If this concern is kept in mind with every text I write or conversation I have, I am already taking an important step toward good communication.
Is that all there is to it? No. To make things even more complex, there is communication in other languages, which, given globalization, has become vital in business and in understanding what happens around us. But knowing a language does not always mean knowing how to communicate appropriately in it. This ranges from what is said to the gestures used. It is very common that in different cultures a thumbs-up sign is interpreted as an offense, or a simple greeting is not well received.
But we do not need to go that far, because even when speaking the same language, regionalism alone is capable of generating unusual situations. It is worth mentioning the case of a receptionist who worked with me, who, being Portuguese, experienced some amusing situations when she arrived in Brazil. In her first job interview, the interviewer, noticing her accent, asked if she was a "Catarina," and she promptly replied that she was not, and that her name was actually "Carla."
Situations like this make me think about how difficult it is to communicate and to be understood correctly.
Living in a world of communication, I feel that the major problem currently faced by companies is precisely the lack of communication. Corporate guru Peter Russell once said that around 90% of companies' problems revolve around communication, or the absence of it. And that the trend for the next millennium is for that percentage to increase significantly. So the problem is not only personal and extends across all our spheres of interaction, whether we like it or not.
To see how messages can be disastrous, I cite the case of a family in the United States who wanted to buy a vacation property in Germany and became interested in a house belonging to a German Pastor (an actual pastor, not the dog breed). Here are the messages exchanged:
"Dear Pastor:
We are interested in your property and would like you to inform us about a detail that went unnoticed and that we could not find in the information provided. Could you tell us where the W.C. is?"
The Pastor did not know the meaning of the abbreviation W.C., but assuming it referred to a chapel called "White Chapel," he replied with the following:
"Dear Sir,
I received your question and am pleased to inform you that it is located 12 km from the house, and it is advisable to bring food since in this region we are accustomed to spending the whole day there. Do not worry, as there is air conditioning to avoid the discomforts of the crowd. Children sit next to adults and everyone participates in chorus. At the entrance, a newspaper is provided to each person. Everything collected during the ceremony goes toward our community garden fund.
The Pastor"
The next time you are writing an email, think about this, and start writing foolproof messages, so that even you yourself can understand them. 🙂
